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Rose is just one of the many care givers who we have supported through our counselling workshops and one to one counselling – here she tells her story, and why the work of Tiny Tim & Friends is essential to her supporting her HIV+ granddaughter:
“I have been coming to TTF for several years now with my granddaughter, Vanessa, who is HIV+. Vanessa’s mother left her at my son’s work place when she was just 18 months old. I don’t think her mother knew she was HIV+ but she was sick herself and unable to care for Vanessa so did what she maybe felt was best and left her with her father. |
"IN THE PAST (HER FATHER) HAS BEEN QUITE VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSE TOWARDS HER......SINCE HE HAS BEEN COMING TO TTF I HAVE SEEN SOME REAL CHANGES IN HIS ATTITUDE"
"I suspected she was HIV+ from day one, she was so malnourished and a very sickly child. I got her tested and they confirmed she had HIV. Because she was so sick and underweight the Doctors wanted to put Vanessa onto ART medication straight away but I was reluctant – I didn’t know if I could be trusted to ensure she took her meds the same time each day and knew if I forgot she would probably become more sick and die – I didn’t want the pressure of this on me.
Vanessa has had a very tough life, several years ago when she was walking to school she was sexually assaulted by someone, we never found the perpetrator. About a year after that she was playing at the house, my husband was outside when she knocked over a candle, and became trapped in the room she was in – by the time my husband got to her she had suffered severe burns to her legs.
Her father didn’t really want anything to do with her and so in the past has been quite verbally and physically abusive towards her. He has another child and often wouldn’t allow them to play together stigmatising Vanessa and telling her sister she could get ill if she played with her. Vanessa knew she was ill but didn’t really understand what was wrong with her.
Vanessa has had a very tough life, several years ago when she was walking to school she was sexually assaulted by someone, we never found the perpetrator. About a year after that she was playing at the house, my husband was outside when she knocked over a candle, and became trapped in the room she was in – by the time my husband got to her she had suffered severe burns to her legs.
Her father didn’t really want anything to do with her and so in the past has been quite verbally and physically abusive towards her. He has another child and often wouldn’t allow them to play together stigmatising Vanessa and telling her sister she could get ill if she played with her. Vanessa knew she was ill but didn’t really understand what was wrong with her.
"TTF HAVE BEEN LIFE CHANGING FOR US AS A FAMILY - I WANT TO THANK ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONATED MONEY TO HELP FAMILIES LIKE MINE"
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"One day when I was in the community I met a woman who worked for TTF – she told me that they could help me with Vanessa’s health and could offer counselling to me and my Son. They have been great about offering counselling to help me understand HIV and to know how to deal with stigma and discrimination, and have helped me in adherence to medication. I live in a farming area so there isn’t a lot of support for me. TTF provides me with a great deal of support. I recently attended a care givers workshop and heard from a woman who was living with HIV – she was so positive it was great to know that Vanessa can live a healthy positive life.
Since her Dad has been coming to TTF for counselling I have seen some real changes in his attitude – now he understands more about HIV transmission and the disease he is much more caring to Vanessa. We still have a long way to go but I feel like with the counsellors support at TTF Vanessa could really lead a different life to what I previously imagined. |
Rose at one of our caregivers workshops
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I tell Vanessa, we all have ailments, I have a heart problem and take medication. If we both take our medication then we can be healthy. I don’t want her to feel ashamed. So encourage her, when asked, to tell people why she is taking medication and because of the medication she is just as healthy as anyone else.
Vanessa has recently been experiencing hallucinations and dizziness, which has lead to disruptions at school – TTF are helping us to change medication and monitoring her progress to ensure she is on the right regimen. They have been life changing for us as a family so I want to thank all those people who donate their money to support families like mine – without your help it would be a very different story for us."
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